Sink or Swim

I competed in an ability swim meet yesterday with lots of other kids like me and it made me think of how fortunate we all are to have parents who encourage us to get out there and do as many things as we can. Even things everyone thinks we can't do. Too many parents are over-protective, even those of typical kids. It's fine to look out for us, but sometimes you just have to throw us in the pool, or push us down the hill, or whatever adventure pushes us beyond our limits. I was born with a pretty messed up brain which was supposed to make me incapable of doing almost anything. My parents ignored that and just included me in everything they did. If they hadn't, I don't think I would be swimming or skiing or doing any of the cool things I do. Not everyone is as lucky as me, but everyone has the ability to do something, you just have to try, or be pushed to try.

The Elliptical Man

Sounds like an  Arnold Schwarzenegger film doesn't it? The title of my blog today refers to a recent facebook post by my friend Cait Waxler who runs the Ability program at the Ambler YMCA. Read it here and share it and encourage some folks to donate to the Y on behalf of Cait so she can continue running great programs for kids like me. I'm selfish that way.

Briefly, the Eliiptical Man story is about a nice man trying to work out, who takes the time to be nice to a special needs teen on the elliptical next to him, probably at the expense of his own workout. If you haven't ever spent time with a kid like the kid in the story, think about another Arnold film where he asks the kids "Who is your Daddy, and what does he do?" Now imagine a kid asking you that question repeatedly every 5 minutes. I know this is an exaggeration, but repetitive questioning is a real thing with my friends with Autism or Aspergers. No one really knows why they do it, but they do and while some people see it as an annoyance, others like the Elliptical Man see it as a chance to treat someone special like a normal person. With no training at all, Mr. Elliptical was even helping the boy by engaging him in conversation about his questions which is one of the ways professionals deal with the situation. That's not why Mr. Elliptical is a hero. He's a hero because he gave up some of his time for someone who needed it more. Not everyone does that these days. There are plenty of people in the gym who complain about the music or complain about not getting their favorite spin bike or complain for the sake of complaining. These people are lucky to have their own world to live in. Mr. Elliptical lives in the real world where different people live and sometimes you need to think of others and not yourself. Fortunately, there are lots of people like Mr. Elliptical and Cait Waxler who live in my world, and I promise to use this blog to promote them as much as possible.

True Grit...

I'm tougher than you big-guy!!

No, I'm not talking about the John Wayne movie. BTW, did you know that John Wayne's real name was Marion and that he could have fought in WWII with some real tough guys, but chose to make movies instead. Well, if it's any consolation to fans of the Duke, he did his own stunts....meaning he rode his own horse and fell on an air mattress once and a while. This blog post isn't to attack old dookie pants, but to highlight something I have noticed about toughness. Seems like we admire all of the wrong tough guys and never recognize true toughness. See Ray Rice...I'm sure his wife posed a real threat before he knocked her out. Or the Blade Runner, oh how I wanted him to be my hero. I can point to lots of other guys like Ray and Oscar, but you get the point. Toughness isn't about how many yards you can rush for or how many movies you can make about tough guys. I see real tough guys every day. (note, by "tough guys" I also mean all the tough ladies I know) Toughness is being responsible. Toughness is the kid who goes to school every day even though the other kids pick on him. Toughness is the student who stands up for the kid getting bullied. Toughness is being honest. Toughness is the sister who doesn't get embarrassed of her handicapped little brother. Toughness is the single mom who works hard and raises her kids not to be buttheads. Toughness is the couple who help a child in need when they don't have one of their own. Toughness is speaking your mind when your opinion is not popular. Toughness is the kid with cerebral palsy who struggles with every step and still keeps a smile on his face. Toughness is the parent who keeps a positive attitude while slowly watching a child who is going to die. Toughness is the teen who still tells his parents he loves them...in public. I can go on and on. True Grit is around us every day even though we continue to praise the wrong tough guys all the time. Look around you, and you will be amazed at all the tough people around you who go un-praised every day. Got it...Pilgrim :-)